sometimes i wonder if my struggle with depression will ever end, sometimes i wish it was a movie where someone would whisk me off my feet and show me the glory of life.
I think i made the right choice quitting cheer, i would come home everynight and cry because i wasn’t as good as the other girls or prety or skinny or happy.
I wasn’t as happy as the other girls and I couldn’t cope with it.
Sometimes I wonder how I’ve survived so long. and on nights like this it becomes so clear other people, not everyone could deal with this internal feeling
feeling of hatred, insignificance, uselessness, like even though I barely exist I am the most hated person.
Sometimes I wonder if everyone feels like this, but I don’t think they do.
What grants me just a little bit of sanity, is that saying that I will paraphrase is that people who are more intelligent are more likely to doubt their abilities and that picture of einstein with his theripist.
I have days where I dont want to see anyone and I have days where i need to get myself into therapy and those days are never close enough to motivate me to go…
life isnt really safe for people with a mind like mine